The biggest thing I lack in my life is discipline. When I was in school, discipline was easy. Do the assignment by the time it is due for the grade. School was my life, and so were my grades. There were no families, work, bills, and sadly no girls to keep me preoccupied. Okay, there were girls that kept me preoccupied, but not because they ever talked to me. So my head was filled with a singular presence. Now when I sit down to do pretty much anything, my brain has a bit of ADHD. Writing something for “fun”, then I think I should be writing something to make money because I never have enough of it. Sitting to do something at work and not understanding a bit of it? Then my head becomes a bit of fog that can only be solved by reading a story on CNN, which then leads to a few other distractions.
Yesterday I tried my best to focus on one thing. Using One Note on my computer, I’ve started making a list of things I need to tackle. It’s helped me focus on what I need to be doing and I actually am seeing some disciplined practice. I worked on my distractions and spent most of the day tied to my desk getting some work done. I came home yesterday and cleaned the cat’s litter boxes, which is a relatively time consuming chore with three cats and three boxes. I stuck with it until it was done. I did all three. Minor triumphs, but I managed to put those multitasking demons out of my head for awhile while I just did that.
Even today, as I sat down to do an exercise out of How To Be A Writer, I turned off the TV, sat in a quiet room, and didn’t open any other windows on my computer to keep from being instantly distracted from a relatively easy exercise of freewriting.
The wired world has killed my brain. Focusing on one thing at a time is the only way I can shock it back to life, I think.